/* Template Name: Main */ ?>
Trust me, I know all about dedication. I’ve been holding in my stomach for about three years now!
If there is a zombie apocalypse, I hope that they are thriller zombies because they’re fabulous dancers!
When I go to Starbucks, I tell them my name is Marco. When my drink is ready and they call my name, I just keep saying Polo. Best. Game. Ever.
Coolest jobs: 1) Beer maker 2) Secretary of War 3) Ninja 4) Guy who pushes scared skydivers
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and meet them there later.
I wouldn’t mind getting arrested today because I’m having a great hair day and my mug shot would be fabulous.
Hate when my girlfriend asks me to hold her purse in the grocery store line because I really don’t like being that guy holding two purses.
Yeah the sun is hot, but have you ever stopped to think about its personality?
My boss told me if I kept showing up late he’d give me a pink slip and I was like, how does he know my tastes in women’s underwear?
I love how people say they’re “expecting” a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
I have failed math eleventeen times or so.
Subscribe to the Blog Feed