Hobo Thoughts: Now THAT’S dedication!

Trust me, I know all about dedication. I’ve been holding in my stomach for about three years now!

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February 7, 2013   0 comments
Hobo Thoughts: Problem solved!

Is work stressing you out and making you upset? Just take a deep breath, and hold it for about 20 minutes.

Tags: , , ,   May 13, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: Even better than a watch…

The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother.

Tags: , , ,   May 10, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: I’m not high maintenance.

Don’t say you love me unless you have bought me a dancing monkey covered in glitter. Without the monkey, they are just empty, meaningless words.    

Tags: , , ,   May 9, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: Then it’s just terrifying…

A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it’s 3am. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby.

Tags: , , ,   May 8, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: Now THAT’S good thinking!

Need to make your place look super creepy cool but lack a smoke machine? Never fear! Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!

Tags: , ,   May 7, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: Who would have thought that cops hate magic tricks?

Turns out cops get really mad if you slip out of your handcuffs, even if you say “Ta-Da” and have jazz hands after you do it.

Tags: , ,   May 6, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: I would settle for either, really.

Life is like a box of chocolates. I don’t have a box of chocolates, either.

Tags: , , , ,   May 5, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: Thank you, smoke detector!

If it weren’t for smoke detectors, I’d never know when my food was ready.

Tags: , ,   May 4, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: It was pretty funny…

A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it’s hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.

Tags: , ,   May 3, 2013   0 comments

Hobo Thoughts: It’s the reason why I don’t wear them often.

The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over.

Tags: , , ,   May 2, 2013   0 comments