Grandparents: Changing the world, one forwarded email at a time…
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a rock, instead.
If trendy nightclubs have taught me anything, it’s that I really overpaid for those river dance lessons…
Gambling addiction hotlines would be much more successful if every fifth caller was a winner.
Wrestling is much more entertaining to watch when you think of it as “competitive hugging.”
It’s a good thing we don’t have to hunt our own food anymore. I don’t even know where pizza lives!
I like it when people call me “Sir.” I don’t like it as much when it is directly followed with “you are under arrest.”
Sometimes, I wish I could be in a gang. At least then I would know what to do with my hands in pictures. http://blog.hoboninja.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/dinobaby1.jpg
If you’re bringing sexy back, you should probably have the receipt for it.
It’s funny how people say they are “expecting” when talking about pregnancy, because it makes it sound like there’s more than one outcome. Yeah, we’re expecting a baby… But it could be a velociraptor!
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