If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun.
I can’t help but notice that the Ninja Turtles never wash their hands before eating pizza in the sewer.
The baby may have started the screaming competition, but I guarantee I’m going to win it.
I’d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
Sorry I misunderstood BYOB, what should I do with this banjo?
Don’t think of me as 50. Think of me as two 25 yr olds.
Here’s a thought that could save you from lots of wasted time. Watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. You’re welcome.
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they’re in the middle of a race.
If a dentist makes his money off of unhealthy teeth, then why should I trust a toothbrush 4 out of 5 dentists approve?
Is work stressing you out and making you upset? Just take a deep breath, and hold it for about 20 minutes.
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