We all have that one person in our life… You don’t want to hurt their feelings, but you just can’t seem to make yourself listen to the relentless unstoppable boredom that comes spewing from their mouth on a daily basis. Never fear, The Helpful Hobo is here to teach you how to do a little less suffering while still seeming to have an attentive ear!

 

 

How to Ignore Someone (Without Them Knowing You Aren’t Listening!)

 

Step 1.) It’s all in the eyes…

The most important part of making someone feel like you are really there for them is maintaining eye contact. Not in a creepy I-want-to-have-your-babies way, but more in a soft oh-really?-that’s-interesting kind of way. And while you are looking deep into their sappy eyes, inside your mind you are far away on a paradise island smothered in bacon and kittens.

 

Step 2.) Nod with me now!

Don’t bob up and down like an adventurous buoy, but a delicate nod at the appropriate times does wonders for your “attentive” appearance. Once the conversation takes on a rhythm, it will feel natural to occasionally nod here and there.

 

Step 3.) Pretend to eat a yummy dessert.

We know this sounds odd, but you know those little “mmm” noises you may make when enjoying a brownie? Now is the time to utilize that weird little noise and make it work for you! Whenever the rambler makes a slight pause, a small, vague “mhm” or “mmm” or even “mmm?” can do wonders!

 

step 4.) Don’t be a Fidgety Freida!

Be one with the garden gnome – meaning: plaster a not-too-expressive look on your face and stay still! No riffling through papers, no chewing on your cuticles, no diddling your phone. Just…sit…still…

 

So next time poor old Chatty Cathy stops you in the hall (before you can safely duck behind the water-cooler) to tell you in detail about the Christmas pony sweater her mother just sent her, we hope you remember to follow these simple tips from The Helpful Hobo!