Well, hello there, my dear, sweet hoboninja lovers! Would you happen to have the time? Let’s see here… Oh my… It’s THAT time… Time for another completely useful and possibly life-changing installment of “The Helpful Hobo Presents!” This week’s topic is something that I am sure has crossed many of your minds from time to time. It happens every time you open a gift that gives you the immediate reaction of “um…what?”

Now, we are not saying that you shouldn’t appreciate every gift as a symbol that someone cares about you enough to have at least had a passing moment of thought about you while fighting the insane masses of Black Friday. But why let that item that you obviously will never be caught dead using/wearing/eating go to complete waste when you may know someone who would totally love and appreciate it?

 

How to Re-Gift Unwanted Items (Without Getting Caught!)

 

Step 1.) Secrets can be fun!

The most important part of the “not getting caught” factor is to just keep it to yourself. No one really needs to know, do they? As soon as you get the I’m-definitely-not-keeping-this present home, put it somewhere safe and out of sight until it is needed.

 

Step 2.) Make it all pretty, like “oooooh!”

After being in hiding for some time, the unwanted present may not be looking it’s best, and just because it is a re-gift doesn’t mean you can’t make it look brand spankin’ new. A little fresh wrapping paper and a few well placed bows can go a long way!

 

Step 3.) Re-gifting can still be thoughtful…

You should have in mind someone who would actually enjoy the unwanted gift. Obviously you wouldn’t want to place someone in the same predicament you were thrown into, so really put some thought into it (unless you have an arch nemesis that would get a bitter sense of disappointment from receiving the unwanted gift, which in that case, you leave that present dirty as can be and place it on their doorstep, making the whole re-gifting process now their problem…evil, right?).

 

Step 4.) Story telling is well respected in many parts of the world, you know…

Always make sure to have a cover story for the whereabouts of the item you are re-gifting just in case it gets brought up again by the original gifter, a mutual acquaintance, etc.┬áBe prepared to say that something broke, was lost, or somehow is missing (bonus points if you can cry at will). You don’t want to hurt their feelings by saying something like “Oh, that atrocious sweater? I passed it off on someone with similar bad taste to your own. And Merry Christmas!”

 

Step 5.) Believe it or not, there is a moral code to re-gifting…

Recognize that anything that was personalized for you or has a company or brand logo on it is off-limits. It’s just not possible, as it is WAY to obvious. Also, cut your losses if the object is too ugly or too outdated to give away undetected (though again, you can throw this rule right out the window if you are revenge re-gifting your arch nemesis). And remember, you could always sell that singing neon reindeer statue on ebay!

 

Well, we hope you have enjoyed yet another completely useful and absolutely necessary-for-life installment of The Helpful Hobo. Happy Re-Gifting, everyone!

 

 

And don’t forget to check out all the hilariously awesome goodies over at HoboNinja.com and Shirt.HoboNinja.com!